


An Age Passed

by sendatsu



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Ballroom Dancing, Battle, Body Worship, Canonical Character Death, Dirty Talk, Golden Age AU, Indian-inspired Golden Age, M/M, Massage, Not Beta Read, Oral Sex, Parenthood, Pre-Canon, Romance, Sad Ending, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Soldiers, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 03:44:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4861736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sendatsu/pseuds/sendatsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I make a point to learn about the people who work under me,” Koz said.</p><p>“Oh, you’d like me to be under you?”  Jack asked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dancing

**Author's Note:**

> This has not been beta-read so if you see any glaring errors that's why. I can't guarantee if I'll do any edits but feel free to point the errors out.

Koz was bored and uncomfortable in his ceremonial robes. He was on leave, but for men of his rank, this only meant he had time to spare from training and fighting to cozy up to the political leaders funding this war. If only they’d been one star system over, at least Seraphina could join him. She probably would’ve loved to attend a ball. Not because she liked rubbing elbows with royalty, but because it meant dressing up and dancing, neither of which were things Koz enjoyed.

He was not at all surprised when Corporal Jackson Frost approached him and, typical cocky grin in place, asked him to dance. If he weren’t so miserable, he would have refused, but instead he agreed, leaving his companions in favor of the dance floor. If any of the politicians thought anything of it, he was confident his men would correct them: Jack was a notorious flirt, especially with Lieutenant Kozmotis Pitchiner.

“I’m surprised at you, sir,” Jack said, saying the title like it was an inside joke between them. “Won’t the hoity-toities talk about you fooling around with your subordinates?”

Koz kept his expression neutral and took two easy steps forward so he was the one leading Jack to the dance floor. Jack’s hand, he’d noticed, was quite cool, but he’d heard that was the case for all Terrans. He and Jack looked similar, but they were from different worlds. 

“I’m confident my good reputation will shield me from suspicion,” Koz said. “Your bad reputation will no doubt further impress the idea that I’m merely humoring one of your pranks.”

“You’ve heard of my pranks?”

Koz paused at the edge of the dance floor, where lords and ladies and soldiers spun around in pairs, all of them stepping in careful measure to the music of an orchestra that encircled the back of the dance hall.

“I heard quite a bit about Sergeant Bunnymund’s chocolates.”

“Oh.” Jack almost seemed embarrassed at that. “Where did you hear about that?”

“I make a point to learn about the people who work under me,” Koz said.

“Oh, you’d like me to be under you?” Jack asked.

Koz ignored him and pulled the younger man toward him, startling him into a brief silence. He laid one hand on the small of Jack’s back. He’d never really noticed how slim the man was. It was nice.

Jack laid a hand on Koz’s shoulder, fingers nudging the tassel that noted Koz’s rank. For the barest second, Koz saw a flash of something in his eyes. Hesitance?

“Don’t worry,” Koz said. “I’ll lead.”

Jack fluttered his lashes. “I like a man who takes charge.”

Koz probably shouldn’t have, but he offered Jack a wry laugh. He really didn’t mind the young man’s flirting. Sometimes it felt nice to be noticed, even if it might’ve been a joke.

Koz stepped out onto the dance floor, pulling the young man after him. He hadn’t danced in years, but he’d grown up in privilege, where formal dancing was a regular occurrence. The steps came easy. At least for him.

He tried not to visibly wince when Jack trod right on his toe.

“Sorry,” Jack said quickly.

“It’s fine,” Koz said automatically. At least under their formalwear they wore sandals instead of their usual military boots. Then Jack took a step too far forward and drove his toes hard into Koz’s.

Koz hissed.

“Sorry,” Jack said again. There was definitely a faint blush blooming beneath the freckles on his cheeks. Actually, Koz had never noticed Jack had freckles until just now. They were quite charming.

Then Jack stomped on his foot in just the right spot to dig the strap of his sandal into the small bones beneath. Koz winced and his step slowed. “Corporal,” he said.

“Oh, come on,” Jack said, face quite pink now. “If you could fall out of bed, break your arm, and then go back to sleep, you can deal with getting your foot stepped on.”

“Who told you that story?”

“Who told you about the chocolates?”

Before Koz could make a retort, Jack stepped on his foot again. Gods, Koz felt like he’d lost half his toenail. “I’m beginning to think you don’t really know how to dance,” he said.

“We don’t dance like this on Terran,” Jack said sourly.

“Why did you ask me to dance then?”

“I thought you’d say no.”

Jack just narrowly avoided Koz’s foot. They were coming around the orchestra now. Just a little longer and they’d be able to slip off the dance floor without cutting through everyone. “Why did you ask then?” Koz asked, raising his voice slightly to be heard over the instruments.

Jack frowned, his cheeks still flushed. “You’re so stoic,” he said like a petulant child. “I wanted to see if you’d get flustered.”

Wha—what a cheeky brat! Koz couldn’t help but sneer. “And now you’re the one getting flustered.”

Jack flushed even more. “You—“

Whatever Koz was, he’d never know. The music swelled and Koz pushed forward, dipping Jack, albeit clumsily. The young man practically clutched at him, blue eyes wide in shock, and his face suddenly much, much nearer to Koz’s own. For a moment, Jack was too startled to respond, then red blossomed across his whole face and Koz couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing.

Jack sputtered in indignation as Koz righted him once more. He didn’t even try to resume dancing, instead, letting the other dancers part around them like flowing water.

“It wasn’t that funny,” Jack grumbled.

Koz laughed, cleared his throat and suppressed the urge to laugh again. It was easy to say it wasn’t that funny if you hadn’t seen it up close. “Oh, Corporal,” he said, “I do hope you ask me to dance at the next ball we attend, although next time, I think you should practice a little first.”

Jack let out a huff and straightened the front of his robes. He schooled his face into a neutral mask and looked at Koz coolly—though Koz could’ve sworn there was a playful spark there. The corner of Jack’s lips quirked upward just the slightest bit as he said in the most suggestive tone ever: “It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's art for it: http://guardian-of-da-gay.tumblr.com/post/129790481452/for-the-of-gold-and-ice-event-im-not-sure-to


	2. On the Battlefield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you get shadow sickness, don’t come crying to me!” Koz said.
> 
> Jack laughed but it lacked his usual charm. “It’s nice to know you care!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really fast update, but hey when you don't have a beta and barely edit your stuff things sure do move fast.

Everything was chaos. What should have been a clean-cut evacuation had been turned upside down by the sudden arrival of an abyssal. Koz’s troops had managed to cut it down to size, but the beast had only scattered, reverting back into the aimlessly aggressive shadow men that had formed it.

Thankfully they’d managed to get the civilians behind the area’s nearest bright wall barricade, but many of Koz’s soldiers were still out in the field, and he wouldn’t return to safety until all his men had too.

Koz nearly stumbled over a body. He didn’t know how many soldiers he’d lost. It was nearly impossible to see through the sheer number of shadow men clambering to kill him.

He could hear his soldier’s voices reporting in through his helm link and was glad for it. While it was handy to have a virtual roster telling him the state of his soldiers at the bottom of his visor screen, he didn’t dare take his eyes away from the fight to check it.

“Has everyone alive made it past the bright wall?” Koz asked as he cut through the nearest shadow man, his visor phasing out the most damaging part of his light blades.

“Just one left!” A voice said—not through his helm, but outside. “Come on, sir, it’s time to head in.”

A glowing staff struck the shadow man just to Koz’s left and the creature writhed before the light fizzled across its whole body and then it burst apart. Behind it, stood Jack. He grinned, a dark, grim smile.

Koz blinked. Jack had jammed the helm’s cracked visor over his face and had the earpiece in, but the helmet itself was gone.

“Where’s your helmet, Corporal?”

“In the middle of a fight and you still find time to nitpick?” Jack turned, delicate as a dancer and twirled his staff, destroying an approaching enemy and sending the one beside it staggering away with a fizzling hole in its side. “The abyssal threw me around a little. It got damaged.” 

Yes, Koz could see the wound from where it broke against the back of Jack’s head. He turned and cut a shadow man from navel to shoulder, his glowing blade cutting through its body like a hot knife through butter. “If you get shadow sickness, don’t come crying to me!” Koz said.

Jack laughed but it lacked his usual charm. “It’s nice to know you care!”

There was a pressure against Koz’s back as Jack leaned against him so they could fight back to back. “You think I’m weak enough that these guys could turn my head?” Jack boasted.

If they weren’t in the middle of battle, and Koz didn’t have his helm on so the whole squadron could hear, he would’ve said ‘yes’. Because fighting off the shadows creeping influence wasn’t so much about strength as it was about optimism—holding onto the lightness in yourself with a white-knuckle grip. And carefree and playful as Jack was, Koz had been watching him, and there was something in the way all that joy and happiness clamped off in battle that spoke of a darkness in Jack’s heart.

“Lieutenant Pitchiner!” A voice rose over his helm.

Koz was caught off balance, striking down two foes with his blade. He focused his magic into his gauntlets for a moment so he could destroy another with his fist. “Yes?” He grunted.

“The General has sent a message. He says the battle is drawing too much attention to the bright wall; the shadow men are starting to attack it.”

“The General is an old fuddy-duddy who hasn’t been in battle for decades!” Jack snarled as he cut through another shadow. Of course he could say what he liked, he had his earpiece but not his microphone.

“The General has ordered a light strike so we can complete the evacuation.”

Koz grit his teeth. Light strikes were only a temporary solution, they blasted apart the shadows, but when the light faded the shadow men that survived regenerated even stronger than before.

“We’re nearly to the bright wall!” Koz said, narrowly dodging a shadow man’s blade, only to skip away from another. “They’ll lose interest once we’re out of sight!” The shadow men could sense his anxiety. They surged around him, and he realized too late he was getting separated from Jack. “Hold the strike!”

Jack swore. “Lieutenant, I’ve lost my visor!”

“I have an un-helmed soldier!” Koz dodged another blow, trying to get back to Jack. He could see the light of the young man’s staff fading as panic set in. Overhead, he heard the groan of an approaching airship.

“The strike will hit in three seconds,” the soldier announced through his helm.

“Corporal, hang on for three seconds!” Koz shouted. He didn’t care that the light strike was overkill or risky any more. He could barely see Jack’s light. It flickered when Koz spoke, then it was gone. The shadows were influencing him. Koz could just see movement as the young man continued to fight with his dead staff. Without the light, his strikes did nothing, and the shadow men had claws and blades.

“Two seconds!” He hollered, hoping the light would rekindle.

“One second,” the soldier announced through his helm.

“Shut your eyes!”

Koz didn’t know if Jack closed his eyes or not. The light strike hit and all he saw was white. The visor cut out the worst of it, but it still made Koz’s eyes water. He snapped them shut too late and could still see the glare through his eyelids.

For a moment after the light faded, he kept his eyes shut, assured that any shadows that had survived the attack would need a few hours to regenerate. When he blinked his eyes open, he still had spots dancing across his vision.

The battlefield seemed strange without the shadow men. He could see there were bodies strewn across a dusty, barren field, but with no enemies among them it looked as if they had simply dropped dead. There was no one standing but Koz.

“Corporal?” He called, looking to where he’d last seen the young man fighting. He spotted Jack on his knees, hunched over, weapon dropped to his side. As Koz watched, he tipped over and fell onto his side.

Koz heart rose into his throat. “Corporal!” He ran the short distance between them. When he knelt at Jack’s side, he knelt in blood.

“Soldier down!” Koz said in his microphone.

“Oh,” Jack moaned softly as he lifted his head. His face was pale and bloodless and his eyes were dark. Light strikes weren’t built to negate shadow sickness; the darkness still had a hold of him. Koz ripped off his helm and jammed it onto Jack’s head, ignoring the young man’s soft sounds of protest.

“You’re going to be all right, Corporal,” Koz said, because he knew the shadows would be telling Jack to be afraid. “The medics will be here soon.” He tried to sound confident as he turned to address Jack’s wound. Jack had been stabbed with a shadow sword—the blade had been destroyed with the light strike and so the wound bled freely. Koz put one hand on top of the other and pressed down on the wound.

Jack winced, red streaking his teeth as he gasped for air. His eyes were bleary and unfocused and still terribly dark. “You’ll be fine!” Koz said. “Don’t listen to those voices in your head. Listen to me. Let the helm take care of them. The medics are coming, I can see them.”

Jack blinked and the movement was sluggish. His face was nearly white, while the whites of his eyes had gone dusky.

“Corporal!” Koz said, using his commanding officer’s voice. “You stick this out!”

Jack rasped for breath and Koz softened. “Corporal, you still owe me a dance.”

Jack blinked and some of the light returned to his eyes. Koz couldn’t help the relieved smile that spread across his features. “You’ll probably get promoted for this!” He said, “there’ll be a party and you can trod over my feet all night if you want.”

Jack’s eyes lightened even as his breathing became more labored.

The medics were on them the next moment. One gently pushed Koz out of the way and set to healing the worst of Jack’s wound, while the other began setting up the equipment for a blood transfusion.

Koz hovered as Jack was hastily patched up, laid on a stretcher and bourn back to the bright wall. He made a brief report with the General over the holo-transmitter (because, of course, he wasn’t there in person). Then, under the excuse that Jack was wearing his helm, he hurried to the medical tent.

Jack lay on a cot, the top half of his armor removed and a blanket thrown over his chest. Koz’s helm lay next to him. As Koz collected it, the healer told him that it had done its work: Jack’s shadow sickness had been chased out before it had a chance to take root.

With his helm returned, Koz had no excuse to linger. He fidgeted, wanting to stay but unsure what was appropriate. He was in luck though. Jack’s eyelids fluttered open only a moment later.

The young man groggily responded as the healer questioned him. Koz peered over the woman’s shoulder. He should at least tell Jack he was glad he was safe right? Yes, he only wanted to verbally acknowledge that Jack had nearly died on his watch, but he didn’t, and Koz was happy about it.

Jack noticed him over the healer’s shoulder and it hit Koz like a stone how glad he was to see the young man’s eyes blue and not black. 

Jack blinked sluggishly and a tired smile rose onto his face. His voice was soft and raspy as he spoke: “I finally got to see you flustered.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some art! http://guardian-of-da-gay.tumblr.com/post/129857904193/for-the-adventure-prompt-im-actually-pretty


	3. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What about if we weren’t soldiers?”
> 
> “We are though.”
> 
> “I mean what if one day, one or both of us aren’t in the military.”

Just as Koz predicted, Jack was given a metal of courage for being injured in the line of duty, while Koz received one for rescuing him. Koz wasn’t expected to be promoted as well. It seemed the light strike was the latest blunder on a long-list of poor choices made by the general and he was finally asked to step down. In the reshuffle to replace him, Koz as promoted to major—a rank high enough that it warranted a royal ceremony (albeit with a low-level royal). The whole thing seemed ridiculous to Koz, but then he learned the ceremony’s location.

With Jack on leave recovering, it seemed natural and appropriate to invite him along. So the two of them, dressed down in civilian clothes, boarded the military base’s sky-ferry and started out directly for Auria.

Jack was wearing Terran clothing: trousers and close-toed shoes, with a long, loose-sleeved shirt and a tightly fitted vest—all in muted shades of grey and blue. He looked so much more at ease than when he was in uniform, though Koz noticed he kept shifting uncomfortably in the seat next to him. They were in coach class, a crowded open area filled with dressed-down soldiers. The seats were clean plastic framed by bulky emergency harnesses. It wasn’t exactly comfortable; Jack’s wound must’ve been bothering him.

“Have you ever been to Auria?” Koz asked, hoping to distract the young man from his discomfort.

“No,” Jack said. “That’s where you’re from though, right?”

Koz nodded and glanced down at himself. He was wearing a dark red kurta, white pajama, and slippers, probably the most stereotypical Auriani clothing ever.

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy your trip,” he said. “The food at least is much better than the military meals.”

“You’ve already found the real reason I agreed to come,” Jack said with a smirk. “Along with the fact that you and I will finally have some alone time.”

Koz snorted at Jack’s suggestive tone. He’d be lying if he said spending down time with Jack sounded unappealing—he liked Jack. Koz didn’t have many people he considered a friend within the military. Too many of his subordinates were intimidated by him, and he was sometimes intimidated by his superiors. It was refreshing to meet someone like Jack who really didn’t care. But he didn’t need to say all that. “I was thinking there might be a party after the ceremony and then you could give me that next dance. I hope you’ve been practicing.”

Jack let out a laugh that failed to hide his embarrassment. “So,” he said conversationally. “What are you most looking forward to about going home, Major Pitchiner?”

“I’m not a major yet,” Koz chuckled. “And I’m most looking forward to seeing my daughter.”

“Oh.” Jack said it so strangely that Koz turned to look at him. Jack smiled, his cheeks lightly pink. “I didn’t know you had children. What’s her name?”

“Seraphina,” Koz said. “She just turned eight.”

“Wow ah . . . does she know you’re coming home?”

Koz smiled. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she met us at the docking bay.”

Jack let out a little chuckle. His face looked quite pale now. He moved to cross his legs and winced sharply.

“Is your wound hurting you?” Koz asked.

“Yeah,” Jack said, sounding almost relieved. He gently laid a hand on his side and flapped the other dismissively. “If I do anything really embarrassing like cry, please just ignore me.”

Koz frowned. “I’m sure we’ll land soon,” he said reassuringly. “You’ll feel better once you’re on solid ground again.

“Yeah,” Jack rasped, looking away from him. “You’re probably right.”

*

Seraphina did meet them at the dock, and Koz couldn’t have been happier. She was bigger than he remembered and he nearly threw out his back scooping her up, but he didn’t care. She looked beautiful, with her hair covered in flowers and henna decorating her hands and feet—ready to celebrate his promotion.

She took off talking a mile a minute about how her nanny had helped her with her tattoos, and what stories she’d told her, and what she was learning in class. Koz barely had a moment to gesture to Jack to follow them. As they clambered into a taxi cart, Sera finally realized Jack was there and paused to stare at him.

“This is Corporal Frost,” Koz said as the cart started moving. “He’s going to be staying with us for a few days.”

“You can just call me Jack,” Jack said, with a small grin. “It’s nice to meet you Seraphina. I like your tattoos.”

“Thank you,” Seraphina said. “Your clothes are funny but you’re very handsome.”

Koz flushed as Jack burst out laughing. “Sera!”

The remainder of their ride was spent with Sera asking Jack all manner of questions about Terran life. She was baffled by the concept of snow. Koz had to admit, he was too. Cold, he was familiar with, he’d been in space, and he’d been stationed on cold planets—but he’d never been anywhere with snow. It seemed there were quite a lot of ways to play with it, and Jack was busy regaling them with stories of snowball fights when the cart pulled up along the front of Koz’s villa.

Jack seemed slightly anxious as Koz showed him around his home. It was as if he were anticipating something horrible would pop out at him at any moment. He recovered from this slightly when Sera took his hand and led him out to the garden.

According to Jack, their garden had more flowers than all of Terra. They took their lunch by the lily pond while Sera told Jack all about the various birds that flew around the grounds. Koz couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride and affection at the sight of the two of them getting on so well.

Evening fell and the three of them parted ways to get ready for the ceremony. With each promotion Koz’s military formalwear gained a new, more complicated article of clothing, so he sent the two of them ahead of him so he could swear and bumble around half-dressed as much as he needed.

The ceremony itself was as dry as Koz expected. There were a few others there receiving promotions, so he didn’t have to stand alone at the very least. Occasionally Koz would glance over to where Jack and Seraphina were seated. They were both smiling whenever he looked. Finally, he glanced over in time to catch them miming squishing his head between their fingertips. Their startled faces were too much, he nearly laughed aloud in the Duke Lunar’s face.

There was a party afterward, but Koz didn’t get to join in the celebration. Instead, he was forced to mingle. He didn’t get his dance with Jack; in fact, he didn’t see him the whole evening—Seraphina either, though he heard about them.

“I just saw your daughter on the dance floor, my word she looks so much like her mother!”

“I spoke to your daughter and that Terran soldier over by the buffet—what a charming young woman she is!”

“I’ve just run into your daughter out in the garden—she seems to be giving her bodyguard quite the runaround!”

Oh dear. Koz had completely forgotten Jack’s injury. He hadn’t even told Seraphina to go easy on him! He didn’t doubt she was running him ragged. Koz took that as his cue to leave, though it took a while to extricate himself from the well-wishers and politicians. 

Koz found the two of them in the garden, chasing each other around—or rather, Seraphina was running around while Jack staggered after her, hand on his side and a smile on his face.

“Daddy!” Seraphina hurled herself at Koz and he lifted her up into his arms. “We’ve been playing all night! We saw a pangolin in the garden and ate these strange cakes and we danced and—“

“It sounds like you and Jack have done just about everything!” Koz said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Now, I think it’s about time to get home.” He set her down again, realizing at the last moment that he’d forgotten to use Jack’s title.

If Jack noticed, he didn’t mind, he was still smiling, even as he approached with one hand pressed to his injured side.

“Are you all right?” Koz asked.

Jack nodded, his face charmingly flushed. He spoke breathlessly: “We had fun!”

*

Sera fell asleep on the way home, curled on Koz’s lap. When the cart pulled up in front of the villa, Koz carried her inside. She was heavy, but the next time he visited, she might be too big to put to bed.

Jack walked ahead and opened doors for him, then stood on the balcony outside Seraphina’s bedroom while Koz tucked her in.

They left together and Koz lead Jack downstairs to the guest rooms. There were no walls along the back of the villa’s first floor, only the occasional section of wooden screens for privacy. When they came down the staircase they were bathed in moonlight. Both moons were full—a rare occurrence.

“Will Lady Pitchiner be coming home later tonight?” Jack asked. “I’d like to thank her for hosting me.”

“Oh.” Koz mentally kicked himself for not thinking to say anything earlier. “I’m a widower actually.”

“Oh.” Jack stopped. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—I’m sorry.”

Koz looked back to see Jack blushing, eyes downcast. The silvery light of the two moons gleamed off his white hair like starlight and Koz was struck by how beautiful he was. 

“It’s perfectly all right,” he said, looking away quickly. “It was a long time ago—when the fearlings first attacked Auria.”

“Oh,” Jack said quietly. An uncomfortable moment passed between them where Jack no doubt was mortified that he’d blundered onto a tender subject, but Koz was distracted by his own distress: he’d just thought something quite inappropriate for a commanding officer to think of his subordinate, and now he was questioning his true intentions when he’d invited to Jack to come to his home.

“I—“ Jack trailed off, snapping Koz out of his thoughts.” I know how you feel, sort of . . . I was born on Terran, but my family immigrated to the Terra Prime colony.”

“Oh.” Oh. “I’m sorry,” Koz said. “That must’ve been quite hard for you.”

Jack shrugged helplessly, looking more than a little frazzled. He had a right to be, Koz supposed. The Terran Prime colony had barely been established on Terran’s furthest moon when the fearling plague began and the whole colony was wiped out, along with three neighboring colonies and a part of Terra itself.

The brief sweetness of the moment had grown sour and stale and Koz floundered to ease the mood between them. “How about a nightcap?”

“Yes, please,” Jack said with such obvious relief that Koz couldn’t help a weak smile. 

In the end, the night was salvaged. Koz and Jack sat on cushions on the veranda overlooking the garden and drank and ate from a bowl of spiced dates. Eventually Koz drank enough that he didn’t mind slipping off the more cumbersome parts of his formal attire and Jack was drunk enough to find his struggles hilarious.

They talked through the night about Seraphina, and then about the family they’d lost, and then whatever came to mind until it was suddenly morning, and Seraphina was standing over him, hands on her hips. 

With all the sternness her 8-year-old body could muster, she said: “Get up and go wash for breakfast you drunkards!”

*

The next few days of their leave passed in a brilliant blur. Jack had never been to Auria, so Koz and Seraphina gave him the grand tour. They took the train to the deserts in the west, saw the mountains to the north, the ocean to the south, and visited the foreign museums, concert halls, and food places all across the continent. Koz felt the need to point out that when he was Seraphina’s age, such trips would’ve taken five times longer and cost ten times as much. Jack teased him and called him old and that felt . . . strange. He felt off. Insecure. Was he unappealingly old?

Then Jack told him he was cute and that did all sorts of damage to his psyche. Koz simultaneously wanted Jack to say nice things to him all day and also wanted him to never talk to him again. This was so difficult! 

Courting his late wife hadn’t been nearly as frustrating, because no matter how he wrapped his head around it, Koz could not justify a relationship with a subordinate. It was inappropriate and unfair when he was in a position of command over Jack. It was out of the question. So while Koz was enjoying himself immensely, he knew sooner or later, he’d have to nip this in the bud.

Their leave ended and Seraphina saw them off. It was a tearful parting. They always were. Koz missed his wife most when he left. Seraphina had her nanny and she loved her, but she wasn’t family. He felt the whole thing might be bearable if he could only leave her with family.

He was stilly misty-eyed when he and Jack took their seats on the sky-ferry. Koz’s name was now on the manifest as ‘major’, which apparently meant he was entitled to a private car. He was glad. Most of the people on the ferry were soldiers and he’d hate to be a sniffly mess in front of his subordinates. Except Jack. He felt after the past few days that he could say they were friends, even if he might like to be more than that (even though it was absolutely out of the question and he just needed to stop thinking that way).

“You all right?” Jack asked.

“I’ll make it,” Koz said, clearing his throat.

“Just look at it this way,” Jack said with a hesitant smirk. “Now you and I can have some alone time.” If one could ever waggle their eyebrows in a questioningly flirtatious way, Jack did.

Koz sighed. Now was probably as good a time as any to address this. “Please stop,” he said.

“Sorry.” Jack flushed. “Bad timing.”

“No, I mean . . . please stop fake flirting.”

Jack’s eyebrows rose and for a split second Koz thought ‘what if he wasn’t flirting, what if I just thought he was?’ But then he realized there was no way he could be so mistaken when Jack was so obvious.

“Who said I was fake flirting?” Jack asked, an uncertain smile on his face. Koz couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not.

“It’s . . . inappropriate,” Koz said. 

“Oh.” Jack seemed to deflate somewhat. “I’m sorry uh . . . sir.” He didn’t say it sarcastically and it felt weird. It felt wrong. Koz was already regretting this.

“It’s just that relationships between officers and their subordinates are strictly forbidden, and even if you don’t mean it seriously, if someone else were to hear you and take it seriously and report us, we would both be in a lot of trouble.”

Jack slumped in his seat. “What about if we weren’t soldiers?”

“We are though.”

“I mean what if one day, one or both of us aren’t in the military.”

Koz fell back in his seat. “If one day one or both of us aren’t in the military you can fake flirt all you like.”

Jack rubbed a hand over his eyes, clearing agitated. “I meant dating,” he said, sounding exhausted. “I’m not fake flirting with you—I never have been.” He lowered his hand and fixed Koz with a steady look. “I’ve been actually flirting with you because I actually like you, sir.” 

He might as well have called Koz an idiot with the way he said ‘sir’, but Koz didn’t care. His whole face was hot and—oh gods, he was smiling. He cut that out immediately.

“There’s still no possibility of anything between us continuing, so I think we should just forg—“

“So you like me back?” Jack’s face was quite pink and he was smiling, it was as charming as it was infuriating. 

Koz let out an exasperated huff. “Yes, but that’s not the point—don’t flail around like that, you’ll tear a stitch!”

Jack laughed and gods, Koz wanted to kiss him.

“It doesn’t change anything,” Koz said. “We can’t have any sort of relationship.”

“Then why did you invite me to your home?” Jack raised his eyebrows smugly.

“I wanted us to become friends!” Koz sputtered, although he wasn’t sure if that were really true.

“So we can be friends.”

“Friends with benefits are also not allowed!”

Jack’s eyebrows shot up and a grin spread across his face. “That was not what I had in mind, but I like where your head’s at.” He continued on, ignoring Koz’s indignant sputters. “I was going to say, we can be friends until one or both of us leaves the military. Then, if we’re both still interested, we can go further.”

Koz frowned. “I intend to stay in the military until all of the fearlings are dead or captured, and I’d be ashamed if you gave up on your career for me.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “The military is just where I went when I had nowhere else to go,” he said. “I wouldn’t mind leaving when I can. Although, at this point I’d get to spend more time with you if I stayed than if I left.”

That was true. Oh dear, now Koz was seriously considering it. It wouldn’t work out, he was certain, but still he found himself saying: “Alright, we can try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some art: http://guardian-of-da-gay.tumblr.com/post/129927474020/for-the-romance-prompt-have-some-moon-lit


	4. The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wow,” he said. “I—I think we got a little carried away.”
> 
> Koz let out a strangled sound. “I think we did,” he said.

The years passed nearly in the blink of an eye. Koz’s new duties as major kept him busy and far from home. He didn’t see Jack or Seraphina as much as he would’ve liked to, though they saw each other a few times—the first time at Koz’s request. He’d asked Jack to hand deliver Sera’s birthday gift, but the two of them got on well enough that Jack visited whenever he had a leave and was stationed near the capital planet.

When Koz received word he was being promoted to Colonel and the ceremony would be on Auria, he barely held out hope that Jack would be available, but was delighted to find that he was.

The ceremony itself was nothing special—in fact it was stuffier than the last one and Koz barely appeared at the party before he was pulled into a war meeting. He was now part of the General’s inner circle and that came with plenty of responsibilities.

It was late by the time Koz got back to the villa. Seraphina and Jack were waiting up for him on the veranda overlooking the garden.

His daughter had grown enough to stay up late into the night, but not enough that she cared to stay up and listen to the adults talk. She kissed Koz’s cheek and wished him a good night, then scampered off to bed.

No sooner had she left than Jack suddenly produced a bottle of wine. “Remember this?” He asked.

Koz let out an exhausted sigh as he dropped into Sera’s empty cushion. “Yes,” he said, holding out a hand.

Jack filled a glass and put it in his hand. For the first time in a long while, Koz allowed himself to relax. This, he thought, this was what he was fighting for. He could stay away and fight and wade through all manner of responsibility and pain if only he could retire to this peaceful place, with his daughter safe and a dear companion at his side.

Koz drank, and he and Jack spoke in quiet tones, leaning close as the evening dragged on.

The moons were both crescents and the night sky was covered in clouds. The rainy season was moving in and the insects were filling the warm night with sound. While the light was not as strong as it had been that first night, the silvery light shining across Jack’s features reminded Koz of the first time he’d realized he had feelings for the younger man. He’d drunk enough that he told Jack this. He enjoyed seeing the color rise in Jack’s face.

“Koz,” Jack said, his voice soft, near pleading. His hand was gentle on Koz’s knee. And Koz felt his face grow warm. Jack had never called him by his name before.

“Jack,” he said back softly.

Jack’s eyes fluttered closed. Koz noticed his eyelashes were white and his breath smelled of sweet wine. The clouds covered the moons and then Jack’s lips met his.

They were softer than Koz had thought, and cooler. His tongue darted out and caught the taste of wine on Jack’s lips. Jack made a soft pleased sound and parted his lips to allow Koz’s tongue inside. Both Jack’s hands rested on Koz’s thighs now. Koz’s hands found Jack’s slim waist and gently pulled him onto his lap.

Their tongue’s slid together as Jack acquiesced, repositioning himself so he sat between Koz’s thighs, his own legs on either side of Koz’s waist. One hand rested across Koz’s shoulders while the other cupped his jaw. Jack whimpered as Koz held him tightly to his chest, their kiss becoming breathless.

Jack rocked against him and Koz growled and nipped at Jack’s lower lip. He could feel Jack’s desire growing between them. His own body was just as eager.

He thrust upward, and Jack broke their kiss to gasp. Koz opened his eyes as the moonlight returned, silvery light tracing over the lines of Jack’s face, illuminating his crystal blue eyes. He was so stunningly—off limits!

Koz’s face grew hot as it hit him hard what they were doing. He must have made quite a face, for Jack blinked, startled and then color rose in his cheeks as well. “Wow,” he said. “I—I think we got a little carried away.”

Koz let out a strangled sound. “I think we did,” he said. He could still feel heat coursing through his veins, but it suddenly felt more uncomfortable than pleasurable.

Jack carefully moved away, his face quite red. “I think we should call it a night,” he said.

Koz didn’t want to call it a night—and it wasn’t just that he wanted nothing more than to lay Jack across the cushions and see how well their bodies fit together. Koz didn’t want to go to breakfast tomorrow morning and not be able to meet Jack’s eye. “Wait, Jack,” he said, reaching out.

Jack stood, stepping out of Koz’s reach. “I think I need to be alone,” he said.

Koz nearly tripped over the edge of his robes in his haste to stand. “Jack, please. I don’t want us to be ashamed of this.”

“Ashamed?” Jack blinked and a smile spread across his face. “Colonel, I don’t know the meaning of the word,” he chuckled. “I only meant I need to be alone so I can take care of myself and don’t end up crawling into your bed later tonight.”

Koz’s mouth went dry. He swallowed. “Oh.” If his erection had been lagging it was back up now.

Jack bit his lip, eyes darting across Koz’s body. He nodded and stepped forward into Koz’s space. Koz tipped his head down even as Jack stood on his toes to capture one last, lingering kiss.

“I’ll be thinking of you,” Jack promised against his lips, and then he disappeared, off to his guest room.

*

The next morning, Koz was glad to see Jack had no qualms about looking him in the eye. They ate out in the garden and had a moment alone when Seraphina left to feed a handful of crumbs to the birds.

Jack looked flush and lovely by daylight. Koz told him so.

Jack smiled, a blush rising in his cheeks. “Did you think about me last night?” He asked.

Now it was Koz’s turn to flush, though he kept his face straight. “Yes,” he answered honestly. He was glad they hadn’t crossed that line now, but last night, he’d brought himself to a climax imagining Jack creeping into his bed and wishing he really would. “And did you think of me?” He asked. 

Jack smirked. “Actually I was thinking about that Duke Lunar, did you see his ass last ni—Eep!” Jack nearly squealed as Koz pinched his bottom. 

“You brat,” Koz said affectionately, and because they were safe here, he leaned forward and pressed a warm kiss to Jack’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy some smutty art on my nsfw blog: http://aggressive-cuddling.tumblr.com/post/129797359770/a-little-something-for-the-of-gold-and-ice-event


	5. Dirty Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack’s lower lip stuck out in a pout. “I’m not as good at this as you,” he said.
> 
> “I love hearing your fantasies,” Koz crooned. “Tell me what you thought about. Tell me what you did.”

Koz was reminded of the need for secrecy more so than ever when one of his peers was discovered to be having an affair with a subordinate. It was a scandal, and as much as Koz tried to stay out or clamp down on gossip, it was obvious what everyone thought. The other colonel had taken advantage of his subordinate, they said, never mind what the subordinate claimed. The colonel was demoted and their partner was transferred to a system on the other side of the galaxy—both of them with their reputations in shambles.

Koz didn’t dare send Jack a correspondence for fear it might be intercepted. Instead he waited for the next chance he had to speak with Jack in private. The nature of their relationship had changed since that night when they kissed in the villa. They’d made it clear they both wanted more from one another, and while they were still keeping their distance, it was hard to not act on the little desires. And that was just the problem. If someone saw them holding hands and suspected them of being intimate, no amount of denial would save them from punishment. 

They established three clear rules: No visiting each other’s barracks. No locking the door when they were the only ones in the room. And finally: the three foot rule. They were not allowed within one meter of each other. The only place these rules did not apply was the villa, though they almost never got to visit at the same time.

Then Koz was promoted to general. He might have refused it—he didn’t join the military to climb ranks, but apparently people liked that about him. He’d known he was a decent leader and strategist, and he was the most familiar with the late general’s comings and goings, so it seemed natural. Koz took on the position, hoping that it was the fastest way to see the war ended.

Koz had hoped the promotion would also bring him home again and maybe offer him more time to spend with Jack as well, but the war had stretched farther and farther from Auria. Koz was promoted without pomp, far, far from home. The worst part of it was that the promotion also meant Koz wouldn’t see either Jack or Seraphina for months at a time.

He was, of course, delighted one day when Jack walked through his door wearing a shiny new sergeant’s badge.

Koz’s secretary was just outside the door, so while there were many responses he wanted to draw on (including jumping up from his seat and launching himself at the man before him) he held back. “Congratulations on your promotion,” he said.

“You too,” Jack said with a grin. “Being a sergeant and all means I’m in charge of ferrying captured fearlings from Dia 19 to this rig. I saw Seraphina on Dia and brought a letter from her for you.”

“What was she doing on Dia 19?” Koz asked, genuinely concerned.

“Bringing a letter for me to give to you.”

“Oh,” Koz chuckled and waved him in. “Close the door, let’s see this letter.”

Jack closed the door and approached Koz’s desk. There was nothing Koz would’ve liked more than to pull the younger man into his arms, but that would’ve been against the rules of this little game they’d made.

Jack came around his desk and stopped just at the edge, sure to keep three feet between them as he handed Koz his letter. Koz wanted to say ‘I missed you’ but knew he would be tempted to reach for him, so instead he took the letter and said: “I’m not sure how I feel about Seraphina visiting planets where fearlings are imprisoned, even if it is just a brief stop.”

“She’s focusing her studies on botany,” Jack explained. “She was visiting the forest around the mercury lake. We went together. She taught me a lot of stuff about plants, and I don’t remember any of it.”

Koz smiled fondly.“How is she then?”

Jack frowned, leaning against the edge of the desk. “She’s gotten taller than me.”

Koz couldn’t help but laugh at that. It seemed his daughter was taking after him. He looked at the letter in his hands. He wanted to read it, but the letter would still be there later, Jack probably only had a few hours before he needed to ship out. “How are you?” He asked, setting the letter aside.

“Busy. Tired. Ready for the war to be over.”

Koz nodded. He felt the same way.

“Feeling old.”

“You’re feeling old?” Koz sputtered.

Jack laughed airily and Koz was struck by a fierce sense of fondness. “Yeah, the old war wound’s been acting up,” Jack admitted. He ran a hand over his side and for a dizzy moment, Koz remembered with perfect clarity watching Jack bleed out on a dusty battlefield. He blinked and it was gone, but Jack was still there, hand pressed over his scar. He couldn’t help but feel responsible—though he knew that was illogical.

“The war will be finished soon,” Koz promised. “The prison is finished, we’re focusing more on transporting them there than we are catching them. It’ll all end soon.”

Jack smiled, though it seemed a little tired around the edges. Koz sighed. Even if the war ended, the scars remained. He tried not to think of how much he’d lost—how much time he’d lost—but sometimes he felt the weight of it all. When that happened, he always tried to turn his gaze to the future.

“Just think,” he said. “In a few months we’ll be back at the villa, and if your scar ever hurts you, I’ll be there to take care of you.”

The tiredness in Jack’s eyes fell away. “Oh?” He said, tone turning playful. “How would you take care of me?” There was a suggestive gleam in Jack’s eyes and Koz felt heat rise in his cheeks as a soft smile found his face.

“Well, I always want to spoil you,” he admitted. “Especially if you aren’t feel well. I’d set out a cushion by the window in my bedroom—you know, the tall one that gets all the sun. I’d taken off your clothes and lay you out where it’s warmest. I’ve got an herbal anesthetic cream that I would use.”

“Sounds like it’d smell bad,” Jack said, nose crinkling like he could smell it right then.

“It smells like lavender,” Koz said, “and it leaves a pleasant tingle.” Actually it smelled like putrid herbs, but there was no room for such foulness in their fantasy.

“I’d touch you gently,” he said, “careful of your scar, oh, but I’d keep my hands on you until the anesthetic took effect. We’ve both waited so long to touch each other—I’d always have my hands on you.”

Jack rested his hands behind himself on Koz’s desk, letting his head fall back and closing his eyes. “Go on,” he said softly.

“As the anesthetic eased your pain, my touch would go deeper. I’d rub across your chest, tease your nipples, then drag my fingers across your shoulders and over the soft insides of your elbows.”

The corner of Jack’s lips quirked upward and Koz wondered at that. Did that mean Jack liked to be touched there? Or maybe he was ticklish? Koz wanted to know more, but he held back. Touching was against the rules. He had to use only his words for this game.

“Then I’d run my hands back up your arms, over your shoulder and along your neck. You have a beautiful neck. I’d lean down and kiss across your skin . . .”

Jack titled his head back and Koz’s eyes alighted on the line of his neck. He licked his lips and continued: “I’d scrape my teeth across your jaw and then I’d move up and taste your lips.”

Jack licked his lips and let out a shaky breath. Koz felt himself straining against his rousers. Touching himself was also against the rules. 

“I would put my lips to your ear and ask: that night at the villa when we first kissed. Did you think about me after?”

Jack’s eyes opened as Koz sat back, a smug smile spreading across his features. “Your turn,” he said.

Jack’s lower lip stuck out in a pout. “I’m not as good at this as you,” he said.

“I love hearing your fantasies,” Koz crooned. “Tell me what you thought about. Tell me what you did.”

Jack flushed and looked away. “Well of course I thought about you,” he said a little sulkily. He let out a breath and closed his eyes, color rising in his cheeks as he continued. “I thought about . . . your hands. About how hard they might press, how . . . tight they’d squeeze. What it’d feel like for them to run through my hair. If I used my mouth on you, would you just rest your hands on my head or would you push and pull me?”

Koz shifted in his seat, erection straining against his trousers. “What would you like me to do?”

A sinful smirk crossed Jack’s features. “I’d let you do whatever you wanted to me. I just want to see you lose control. I touched myself thinking about that.” Jack’s hand rubbed across his thigh and Koz hissed at the sight. He closed his eyes.

“I sucked my fingers and imagined it was you.”

Koz swallowed as his cock throbbed.

“I put my fingers inside myself.”

Koz let out a soft groan. He could just picture Jack laid out on his bed in the guest room, naked, legs spread, moonlight illuminating the lines of his chest and abdomen, as one hand toyed with his cock and the other fingered his entrance. If only he could touch himself, he could come from that image alone.

He opened his eyes and saw Jack with both hands firmly planted behind him, back arched as he shifted his legs, seeking the friction of his trousers rubbing over his erection to ease the heat in his groin.

Gods, Koz might come even without touching himself. He shifted, arching his back and found the in-seem of his trousers pressed against himself in just the right way. “Ah,” he gasped. “Keep going. H-how did you finish yourself?”

“Mm,” Jack shined. “I-I thought that you might like to take me from behind and—nh—your hands would be so tight on my hips.”

“I love your hips,” Koz growled.

Jack let out a soft laugh. “I rolled onto my stomach and f-fingered myself and rutted against the sheets. And I imagined that you’d come to my room and find me and—K-Koz, I’m really close.”

“Me too,” Koz said, nearly dizzy with the heat between his legs. “Please, don’t stop.”

“I-I imagined you’d take my hand away and fuck me from behind. Oh! Koz I wanted it so bad. I still want it so bad.”

Koz arched, the pressure in his center rising to a climax as he imagined pushing into Jack, pressing him down, finishing deep inside of him. And then he was over the edge. He gasped and grit his teeth, pleasure bursting through him, but still he held his voice in check.

His breathing was ragged as he came back down once more. He blinked sluggishly and saw Jack looking at him with the strangest look in his eye. Like he thought Koz was something precious. 

“I love you,” Jack said.

There came a knock on the door and Koz straightened, schooling his expression into the cool stoicism expected of a seasoned general. Beside him, Jack adjusted his posture to look less seductive and more casual, his poker face nearly as flawless as Koz’s. Nearly getting caught was also part of the game.

“Come in,” Koz said.

Koz’s secretary poked his head in to tell him that Czar Lunanoff had changed his meeting time from two hours from now to one.

“I’d better start prepping then, thank you,” Koz said and his secretary closed the door.

Jack let out a breath as Koz turned to him. 

“Well . . . the mood’s been spoiled,” Koz said, drawing an embarrassed laugh from the younger man. Koz smiled at the sound. “You know I love you too,” he said.

Jack’s face was charmingly pink. “I know.” He straightened. “I should get back to my ship before they send out a search party.”

“And I need to clean myself up before my meeting with the czar.”

“No, you should go with cum stains on your front,” Jack said.

“Brat.”

Jack laughed as he rounded the desk. “I think I’ll need some alone time when I get to my ship,” he said lewdly. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see art for this chapter here: http://aggressive-cuddling.tumblr.com/post/129864660577/i-like-how-this-one-came-out-3-for-the-of-gold


	6. Celebrations and Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For the record, this is better than what I imagined.”
> 
> Koz chuckled as he used just his fingertips to rub across Jack’s scalp. “I’m glad I’ve surpassed your expectations.”

The night the official word went out was one of the best in Koz’s life. The fearlings were all captured or killed. The war was over.

All the ships in the quadrant gathered together, too far from the capital planet to join the celebrations there, though Czar Lunanoff’s flagship would be joining them soon.

Everywhere Koz looked was joyful chaos. Soldiers were tearing up the halls, hollering and dancing. The smell of alcohol and the sound of singing filled the ship and Koz couldn’t bring himself to calm any of it down. He knew the Czar would arrive in a few hours and he’d be expected to meet him, but he let his secretary talk him into drinking a little anyway.

As soon as he heard Jack’s ship had joined the rendezvous, he was off. He didn’t care what anybody thought. It was over. There was still plenty to do, but it was over. He could get demoted, he could quit, none of it mattered. He needed to be with Jack.

Overhead, a tipsy-sounding broadcaster announced that the czar’s flagship was out of warp and would be docking with them in forty minutes, but he ignored it.

Jack was one of the first to stagger from his ship and he nearly flew into Koz’s arms. It was almost instinctual to recoil, but Koz didn’t. His own secretary had embraced him at the news; nobody looked twice at the two of them. Besides, Jack felt cool and wonderful, and he smelled pleasantly of liquor.

Koz pressed his lips to Jack’s ear: “Give me a tour of your ship?”

Jack leaned back in his arms, face flushed. He was definitely passed tipsy. “It’s just like all the other ships.”

Koz smiled because he loved this little drunk man. People were all around them, but they were causing such a ruckus, the two of them might as well have been in private. “Then just show me to your cabin.”

Jack’s eyes widened in understanding. He straightened and took two big steps back, putting three feet between them. “Right this way, General.”

Koz stifled a grin and pulled on his best poker face. “Thank you, Sergeant.”

Jack’s ship was like all the others—narrow hallways with small rooms, lots of metal, lots of weapons. Koz had been on so many, he could’ve walked to the sergeant’s cabin without being shown the way. Jack seemed to enjoy taking a moment to pretend he really was showing Koz around. Koz supposed it was good for the few people they passed to see them interacting platonically, but he also wanted to drop the cherrade and kiss Jack senseless all the way to his cabin.

Finally, Jack led him through a door into a closet of a room. There was a narrow bed against the back wall, a desk and chair sat against the wall beside it. Jack’s military formalwear was hanging on his closet door, otherwise the room was as sparse as most soldiers’.

Jack closed the door behind them and locked it. “We’re breaking all our rules tonight aren’t we?” He asked.

“Yes,” Koz said.

Jack could barely morph his smile into a false show of mourning. “Then why’d you wear your formal robes?”

Koz looked down at himself. He’d completed forgotten! He looked up apologetically. “I thought I should put them on before I started drinking. The czar will be here soon.”

Jack crossed the room, entering Koz’s space. “It’s going to take me years to figure out how to get these off of you,” he said, though he almost seemed excited at the prospect.

“I’ll help you,” Koz promised. “I’ve gotten better at putting them on and taking them off.” He glanced at Jack’s formalwear, hanging from the closet door. An idea sprang to mind. “How about I help you into yours?”

Jack raised an eyebrow, color rising his cheeks. “Please,” he purred.

Koz lifted his hands and gently set them on Jack’s chest. Jack’s eyes slipped shut. Even this touch had been forbidden to them for so long. He dragged his hands down over Jack’s front and then up again, feeling Jack’s breathing and heartbeat beneath his hands.

He began undoing the clasps holding Jack’s jacket closed. He bit his lip as each snap revealed more and more of his partner’s neck. He let the fabric fall off Jack’s shoulders to reveal the sleeveless undershirt beneath. The fabric was soft as he ran his hands up Jack’s sides. Jack’s neck and collar were exposed and he couldn’t help but lean forward and press a kiss to the nape of his neck.

Jack sighed, tilting his head to allow Koz more room. Koz sucked and kissed at the tender skin beneath his mouth as he pulled Jack’s undershirt out from where it was tucked in. He stepped back for a moment, only to pull the shirt over Jack’s head, and then their lips met.

Jack’s tongue swiped across his lip immediately, and he opened his mouth to let him inside. He felt giddy, tasting Jack for the first time in so long. He wanted to taste more.

He removed Jack’s belt and began unfastening his pants. Jack hissed as Koz’s hands moved over the tent in his trousers. 

Koz put his hands to Jack’s waist, marveling at the cool smoothness of his skin, and gently guided him to his desk chair. He sat him down and knelt before him, between his legs.

Jack’s face was a brilliant shade of red as Koz pulled his boots off and then removed his trousers and underpants. At last he sat naked before him. Koz licked his lips, looking the young man up and down. Jack was muscled but slim, his skin was a beautiful pale color that contrasted deliciously with the darkness of Koz’s own hands. He ran his hands up the younger man’s cool thighs, enjoying the contrast as much as he did watching goosebumps spread across Jack’s skin.

“W-will you undress?” Jack asked.

Koz looked up at him. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to look at Jack’s eyes or his lips or simply all of him. There was so much he wanted to do, it was difficult to choose what he wanted right then. He stood, letting his fingers linger on Jack’s thighs as he bent to kiss his lips. “Later,” he said. “Right now, I want to spoil you.”

Jack’s lip stuck out in a pout and then he brightened. “Later tonight?”

Koz chuckled. “If you’d like.”

Jack’s eyes nearly sparkled. “I mean . . . gods, we’ve been saying ‘later’ for so long and now ‘later’ can mean ‘later tonight’!”

Koz’s heart felt light just looking at Jack’s delighted face. “Exactly,” he said. He bent and kissed the younger man again, then straightened, trailing his fingers up Jack’s torso as he did.

His fingers ghosted across Jack’s nipples and he smiled at the way Jack’s breath hitched. He wanted to spoil him. He wanted to touch him and never stop. He kept his fingers on Jack’s body, even as he walked around behind him, trailing his hands up to Jack’s bare shoulders. 

Oh, he hadn’t thought about how lovely Jack’s shoulder blades might look. “You are exquisite from every angle,” he said, kissing the crown of Jack’s head.

“I’d return the favor if you’d get naked,” Jack said cheekily.

Koz chuckled. “Later,” he said.

Jack let out a contented sigh. “Later.”

Koz began gently squeezing the muscles at the base of Jack’s neck, moving outward toward Jack’s shoulders, then starting back at the base of his neck again. Gradually he could feel Jack’s muscles relax beneath his touch. He pressed his thumbs on either side of Jack’s spine, just above his shoulder blades and began to rub in small circles. Jack let his head drop slightly, lengthening the line of his neck. Koz bent and kissed the skin there.

“This is nice,” Jack said softly.

Koz leaned back, moving his hands slowly up the back of Jack’s neck, thumbs still drawing firm circles across his skin. “You said you thought about my hands and how I would touch you,” he said. His slid his hands into Jack’s hair. If he’d thought the contrast between their skin had been beautiful, he loved seeing Jack’s hair run through his fingers even more.

“For the record, this is better than what I imagined.”

Koz chuckled as he used just his fingertips to rub across Jack’s scalp. “I’m glad I’ve surpassed your expectations.” He stroked behind Jack’s ears and then took them both between his fingers and gently rubbed his earlobes, smiling as Jack leaned into his touch. But he wasn’t satisfied touching him in only one place for long. He had so much time to make up for. 

Koz stroked his fingers from Jack’s forehead, back to the base of his skull. From there he ran his hands down, over Jack’s collarbones, across his chest. He paused to fondle his nipples. Jack arched into his touch with a soft sigh. Koz was bent over him now and he kissed the younger man’s neck and nuzzled through his hair until Jack leaned his head back and he could suck at his ear. 

His hands trailed down to find Jack’s lower arms resting beside his thighs. He lightly ran his fingertips over the inside of Jack’s elbows and Jack moaned. So he’d answered that question—Jack liked having the inside of his arms touched. He did it again, pressing harder, pressing softer, using his nails and then dragging the caloussed pads of his fingers over the sensitive skin until Jack was panting.

Koz licked his lips and stared down at Jack’s neglected erection. It was smaller than his, framed in white hair, with a soft arch to it that seemed oddly fitting. He wanted to taste it.

Koz straightened, drawing his hands up Jack’s arms as he did. He made sure to always keep a hand on Jack’s body as he walked around the front of him and knelt between his legs once more.

“Koz,” Jack moaned, his lips parted as he panted for breath and his eyes dark with arousal. He gripped the seat of his chair as Koz parted his pale thighs and positioned himself between them, taking the base of Jack’s cock in one hand.

Koz looked up into Jack’s eyes as his mouth found the younger man’s sex. Jack whimpered as Koz’s lips parted around him. Koz’s eyes dropped shut as heat rose in his center, his body responding to the bitter-salty taste of pre-come. He took in as much of Jack as he could before he reached his fingers. He hollowed out his cheeks, moving his tongue beneath Jack’s erection.

“Fuck!”

Koz looked up to see Jack’s head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut and bottom lip firmly pinched between his teeth. He moaned at the sight, and Jack jerked, swearing again.

Koz smirked around the cock in his mouth. Jack was close. He was finally going to make this beautiful man come. He was throbbing beneath his robes, excited for Jack’s climax.

Koz closed his eyes as he bobbed his head over Jack’s erection. He moaned as he moved down the shaft and then hollowed his cheeks and sucked as he moved back.

“Oh, Koz!” Jack’s thighs trembled as he moaned, back arching. “Koz! I-I’m—ngh!” Jack’s fingers found Koz’s hair and tugged gently. Koz nearly purred, resisting Jack’s urging as he took in as much of him as he could. Koz opened his eyes just in time to see Jack’s head fall to his chest, his face flushed a brilliant red, his jaw slack, eyes squeezed tight. He let out a choked out gasp and then his whole body jolted. Koz watched in rapture as his partner climaxed, not caring at all about the bitterness bursting across his tongue. He swallowed it as quickly as it came, sucking Jack’s cock through his orgasm.

Only when Jack went limp did Koz draw back, swiping his tongue across the underside of his cock and then pressing a kiss the head.

He looked up at Jack and saw the young man watching him. His hair was rumpled, his cheeks flushed, eyes bleary, lips parted as he gasped for breath.

“I love you,” Koz said.

Jack’s voice rasped in a way that had Koz’s neglected erection straining against his robes as he responded: “I’m going to fucking wreck you later.”

Koz let out a startled, delighted laugh.

There came a chime through the ship speakers and then the tipsy broadcaster announced: “Czar Lunanoff on deck. General Pitchiner to the landing bay.”

Koz sighed and stood, brushing the knees of his robes. “Looks like I won’t be helping you into your robes after all. I’m sorry.” He said, helping Jack to stand. He was, Koz was happy to notice, quite shaky on his feet. 

Jack was smiling. “I know you’re going to have a busy few weeks,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve already got my retirement papers filled out, but I know you’re going to spend the next three months having royals pin metals to your chest.” He ran a hand over Koz’s chest like he could imagine them. “When you’re done, we should go visit Terran.”

Koz’s heart melted, but he felt he should ask: “What about Seraphina?”

Jack looked up at him like he had three heads. “Of course Seraphina will come too. We have to go see the snow. And I’ll show you how to dance the Terran way and you can step on my toes all you like.”

Koz pulled Jack into his arms and kissed him fiercely.

Overhead the announcement chimed. “General Pitchiner to the landing bay.”

They parted. “Later tonight?” Jack asked.

“Later tonight,” Koz promised.

*

Koz meant to seek Jack out after his meeting with the czar, but he couldn’t quite plucked up the courage. Jack found him in his quarters, shaky and pale and not at all ready to tell anyone who loved him just what the czar had asked—no, commanded—him to do.

He must’ve looked awful. He’d seen Jack nearly bleed out and yet he knew the memory of seeing all the excitement and hope in Jack’s face vanish at the sight of Koz’s face would be the most unbearable.

“What’s wrong?” Jack asked, reaching out for him.

Koz’s couldn’t find the strength to stand as Jack’s hands found his shoulders. His voice sounded far away as he spoke: “I have something to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see smutty art for this chapter here: http://aggressive-cuddling.tumblr.com/post/129934909371/ran-out-of-time-to-do-the-colors-with-this-one


	7. Rage and Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did I make the wrong choice?”
> 
> Jack was staring down at his hand in Koz’s. “It was the right thing to do,” he said. “You’ve done so much good for everyone. But sometimes the right choices still have consequences.”

Koz had expected Seraphina to cry when he told her. He hadn’t expected anger.

“What an idiotic plan!” She stormed, pacing across the main veranda. 

It was a beautiful day out. The kind Koz used to dream of spending outside with the two of them, but instead they were here, with Seraphina raging and Jack silent, standing by the veranda’s edge.

“How can they expect one man to guard an entire planet?!”

“It’s hardly a planetoid,” Koz mumbled, but Seraphina was on fire.

“Why the bloody hell would they have only one guard. What happened to all those other soldiers they had lined up for it?!”

“Half of those already sent have deserted and nearly all the rest have shadow sickness,” Koz said.

“What about those helmets?”

“They weren’t designed to handle all the fearlings at once—“

“Then how the hell can they expect you to do it?! This has to be some sort of joke!” Seraphina’s face was red, her eyes blazing. Koz couldn’t meet them, so he stared instead at the fists at her sides. She’d decorated her hands and arms with henna to celebrate the war ending as well as his return.1 “You can’t go,” she said, her voice like cold metal. “You’ll die if you go.”

Koz raised his gaze up to her face. He still didn’t have the strength to meet her eyes, so he looked instead at the flowers she’d woven into her hair. “I can’t not go,” he said.

“Yes, you can!” Seraphina bellowed. “You can quit! They have plenty other soldiers to choose from, you’ve given them enough.”

“The Czar ordered me to do it,” Koz said, raising his voice before she could interrupt him again. “Even if I weren’t in the military, there are consequences for disobeying him. There’s no getting out of this, Seraphina.”

Seraphina seemed to deflate at that. She took a step back, putting her hands to her ears as though she could shut it all out. Her fingers met the flowers in her hair, and she started. Then she ripped them out.

“Sera—“ Koz stepped toward her, and she took several steps back, turning on him like a wounded tiger.

“This is all fine and good for you!” She snarled. “You were always so eager to leave if it meant fighting your stupid war—get on with it and go already!”

“Seraphina!” Koz cried in shock.

His daughter whirled and stormed off toward her room. Koz made to follow her, but there was a soft tug at his arm. He looked back to see Jack standing behind him, his face pale and resigned.

“Give her time,” he said. 

Koz didn’t know what to say. He felt his daughter’s words like a knife in his heart. He’d fought the war for her sake, and she’d always been happy at his return. He never anticipated resentment, though now he felt a fool for it. Of course she would resent him, her whole life he’d been absent and now he was leaving, maybe forever.

The prison planet was beyond the farthest established colony, with two military bases stationed in orbit around it. Koz had helped choose the location, the way it was organized; he’d had a hand in every stage of its inception. The prison was built with contingency upon contingency. There were no escape pods so in an emergency prisoners couldn’t leave the planet. Communications were routed only to the neighboring satellite bases, so if the soldiers stationed on the planet were overcome with shadow sickness, they couldn’t ask for help from outsiders and risk an outbreak among civilians. And in the worst-case scenario of a prison break, Auria would have plenty of time to respond—even at warp speed, the prison was a two-year trip from the empire’s capital. And that was where Koz was going. Alone. 

He was set to be stationed there for five years. With the travel time, that would be nine years in all. And it was very likely he would fall to shadow sickness before then with the way the fearlings overloaded the helms. He’d pointed this out to the czar, but his ruler had assured him he had every confidence in Koz’s ability to withstand them. He was one of the few soldier’s who’d never had shadow sickness, and Jack wasn’t the only one of his peers whom he’d helped pull out of the darkness. Still, Koz wasn’t so confident. He’d kept strong all this time by thinking of the life he’d have after the war. Now, that life was slipping farther and farther from his grasp.

“When are you shipping out?” Jack’s quiet voice distracted him from his thoughts.

“I have two weeks to put my affairs in order.”

Jack nodded. “Then go put them in order for a while. I’ll talk to Sera.”

*

Koz didn’t want to spend a moment away from either Jack or Seraphina, and yet he had much to do. He spent the next few hours in a flurry, trying to get everything ready. He spent an hour writing letters to all the royals and big to-dos telling them he was sorry, but he wouldn’t be attending any parties, award ceremonies, or anything of the sort. He was spending as much time as he could with his family before his next assignment.

Finally, he was able to return home. Evening had fallen and only Jack was waiting to greet him. The young man coaxed him into eating a bit of fruit, though Koz had little appetite. He asked for Seraphina and Jack assured him: “She’s passed being angry. Or, well, she’s still angry but it’s mostly boiled over. I think she’s just . . . recovering. You know . . .” He shrugged helplessly. “Like how I was.”

Yes, Koz remembered, though Jack hadn’t been angry like Seraphina. Instead, Jack had cried like a child and like a child, Koz had held him on his lap until he’d used up every once of strength in his body and couldn’t cry any more. Since then, Jack had been quiet and stony-faced.

Koz sighed and reached for one of Jack’s hands, stroking the younger man’s pale fingers with his own dark ones. “You know, I fought this war for her sake,” he said. “I knew it would take me away from her—and from you—but I thought it was all worth it if I could only resolve this.” He looked up at Jack’s face. “Did I make the wrong choice?”

Jack was staring down at his hand in Koz’s. “It was the right thing to do,” he said. “You’ve done so much good for everyone. But sometimes the right choices still have consequences.”

Koz let out a huff. “When did you get so wise?”

“I’ve been acting mature all day trying to get Seraphina to come around.”

“Well, you can relax now.”

Jack breathed deeply, his eyes dropping closed. When he opened them again, Koz could see the sparkle of tears. “If I relax, I’ll cry, and I promised myself I’d stop.”

“You can cry all you want,” Koz said.

Jack just shook his head and blinked, breathing deeply. A quiet moment passed between them during which Koz mustered up the courage to address something he knew he needed to say.

“We haven’t talked about what’s going to happen after I’m gone,” he said. He took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to wait for me.”

Jack’s gaze lifted to his face. “Of course I’m going to wait for you,” he said in a quietly surprised tone.

Koz shook his head. “I’ve already made you wait so long. You might’ve been able to meet someone else by now and I held you back, but I can’t do it to you again—not for as long as I’ll be gone. Not when there’s a chance I won’t come ba—“

“What if I just came with you?”

Koz’s eyes widened. “No.”

There were tears in Jack’s eyes once more. “I could take a post on one of the satellite bases.”

Koz shook his head. “No, no. I don’t want that for you. I want you to get on with your life, Jack.”

“What life?” Jack snapped and Koz flinched, reminded of Seraphina’s anger from before. “I joined the military because I had no one. I had nothing and I needed to start over. Now I have you and I have Seraphina and you’re trying to tell me to leave that and start over—but oh, not with the military. No, I should just go back to having nothing?”

“I just . . .” Koz shrank, feeling his eyes prick. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t give you everything you deserve. I want you to have that, even if it’s not with me.”

Jack sighed. “I will have it, even if it’s not with you. Staying here, with Seraphina, settling down? That’s everything I’ve wanted, I just won’t have you here for part of it. I’m going to wait for you, so you better fucking come home to me.”

Koz blinked back tears as he looked up into Jack’s face. “I will,” he said. “I promise.”

*

Koz didn’t bother showing Jack to the guest room. They only had so many days left, there was no sense upholding pretense. Koz wished they could get back to that night on the ship, when they’d been so enraptured with the idea of ‘later’ being so close by. Now ‘later’ was here, but it wasn’t enough.

Their hands were greedy, stroking, petting, grabbing, and clawing for each other. Slick fingers found Jack’s entrance and gently slid inside, stretching and searching. Koz desperately tried to memorize the feeling of Jack’s tongue inside his mouth, the way his body felt pressed against him, the sound of his voice when Koz’s fingers found his prostate.

Jack sat in his lap, arms wrapped around his shoulder. He made the most beautiful sound as he pushed down on Koz’s cock. Koz desperately tried to enjoy the feeling of Jack’s body opening around him—he’d waited so long for this, and he mourned that he’d lose it so soon. He kissed Jack’s jaw, his ear, his cheek, his mouth, waiting for his lover to relax around him. Jack’s fingers tugged at his hair as they began to move against each other, small, pleased sounds flowed freely from his throat.

It was difficult to thrust from this position, but Koz didn’t care half as much as he did about making sure he could hold Jack as tightly to him as possible. They simply enjoyed the sensation of the connection between them, their movements sometimes frantically and desperate and other times slow, drawing out the act until Jack’s head tipped back, his jaw going slack as his body tensed around Koz’s. They climaxed together.

Koz kissed Jack’s cheek, and found it wet.

“I’m sorry,” Jack rasped in that spent voice that Koz loved so much. “I promised I wouldn’t cry.”

“I said you could cry as much as you wanted,” Koz said, pressing another kiss to his cheek. He sighed against Jack’s cool skin. “Do you need anything?”

“Water.”

“I’ll bring you some water,” Koz said, “and then I’m going to touch you some more.” They had a lot of time to make up for and not enough time to do it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see art for this here: http://aggressive-cuddling.tumblr.com/post/130009186740/heres-my-last-piece-for-the-of-gold-and-ice
> 
> And just because I had someone mention they hadn't noticed something important in the tags, i feel I should tell you guys to check out the tags if you haven't so you won't be as surprised about the next (last!) chapter.


	8. Next Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don’t listen to those voices in your head. Listen to me. You don’t want to hurt anyone here, least of all us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 100% happy with this, but I've been working on it all day. I hope you guys enjoy the final chapter of this little monster I created.

“Oh gods,” Seraphina gasped like she’d been punched in the stomach. “I have never been colder in my life!”

Jack laughed. “You’re hardly out the door!”

They stood just outside the doorway to the sky-ferry port. Beneath the stone steps, the Terran capital stretched out before them. In stark contrast to the lush greenery, white stone buildings, and clear blue skies of Auria, the Terran sky was overcast; its buildings made of drab stone and faded wood. There wasn’t a familiar building in sight, but Jack wasn’t at all surprised to see it had changed completely since the last time he’d been there. It had been years.

“Gods,” he groaned, “I think the last time I was here was before you were born. Do you know how old that makes me feel?” He ran a hand through his hair. At least he still had that. He turned to look at Seraphina and saw her eyes nearly the size of dinner plates, fixated on a patch of grey-white shoveled off to the side of the stairs.

“Is that snow?” She asked.

Jack could barely contain his laughter. “Yeah.”

Seraphina started toward it. “I’m going to touch it.”

Now, Jack couldn’t stop his laughter at the sight: a grown woman dropping to her knees and reaching out with both hands to reverently touch a pile of sooty snow. She squealed. “It’s so cold!”

Jack was grinning from ear to ear as he approached her. “Wait until we get to the country,” he said, offering her a hand. “The snow there will be clean.”

It took a bit of coaxing to get Seraphina to leave her first snow patch alone. She all but forgot how cold she was, although she shook like a leaf as they waited for a taxi. 

It was much warmer inside the taxi cart. While Sera had her face nearly pressed against the cab window, he sat back and discretely massaged his side. His scar didn’t like the cold at all.

As he watched the city pass by outside his window he couldn’t help but wish that they could have brought Koz here before he left, but even a direct trip from Auria to Terran took over a year at warp speed. Instead, their last few weeks together had been spent in the privacy of the villa. 

After he’d left, Jack and Seraphina settled down in Auria until Seraphina had finished her studies. Then, as a reward for her hard work, they’d taken a trip to Dia 19 to see the mercury lakes again. After that, Seraphina got a job on Valdi and Jack had followed her. From Valdi they traveled to Kova and from Kova to Ven and so on and so on. They’d always had a reason to leave—a new job, a change of pace, a vacation. 

Somewhere along the way Jack had realized their destinations were taking them closer and closer to the outer systems—where Koz was. He had not talked to Seraphina about it, but he fantasized that they might get to the end of the established colonies and then when Koz’s five years were complete the three of them could make their way back to Auria together.

He closed his eyes. The fantasy gave him hope, but it also hurt to think about. The years had passed and more often than not the communications they received from the prison were from the military base, where a stranger would report that Koz was alive and in good health. Sometimes they’d get lucky and a military courier would bring a letter, but they were always months old. The thought had crossed Jack’s mind more than once that Koz could die and they wouldn’t know for months, maybe even years.

An emergency siren sounded in the distance and Jack’s eyes snapped open. He sat up with a jerk, startling Seraphina. Visions of fearling attacks long-passed danced behind his eyes as he looked out the window, craning his neck to see.

“You always fret when the sirens go off,” Sera said, gently patting his knee. “I’m sure they’re just testing them. No need to get alarmed.”

Their carriage rolled to a stop and Jack turned to look at her as if to say ‘I told you so’.

“It’s probably traffic,” she said. 

The next moment the door to their cab opened and the cabbie stuck his head in. “They’re saying we need to make for the nearest shelter,” he said.

In the distance came a tremendous boom, and the ground trembled.

Seraphina pointedly ignored the look Jack was giving her. They stepped out of the cab and followed the stream of confused and slightly alarmed citizens. Soldiers were directing the crowds into a stone bunker topped with a huge metal roof. Another boom shattered the sky and the ground shook. This time they could see smoke rise from across the city. 

The crowd picked up speed as some people panicked and ran. Jack was shoved aside by a young man and staggered, his scar throbbing. Seraphina grabbed his hand and began calmly pulling him after her, her height and the intensity of her gaze parting the crowd around her. Jack might have appreciated it more if she hadn’t viciously muttered something about people not having respect for the elderly under her breath. 

The siren cut off as a mechanical female voice announced: “Attention citizens, we are receiving reports of in-coming space debris. The governor has declared a state of emergency. Please calmly make your way to your nearest emergency bunker for evacuation.”

The message repeated as the crowd around them murmured. Some were frightened, others, like Seraphina, seemed relieved. “It’s not . . . you know what,” she said, squeezing Jack’s hand. “It’s just a meteor shower or something.”

“Maybe . . .” Jack said. He didn’t want to point out that there were all sorts of systems in place to spot a meteor shower coming and steps would’ve been taken to address it months ago. “Maybe it’s space debris from the war,” he said to himself. “It could’ve drifted for years before hitting Terran’s gravitational pull.”

“Exactly,” Seraphina said with almost too much conviction.

No sooner had they entered the bunker than the whole building shook with three successful crashes. This time Jack could hear the sounds of breaking mortar and shattering glass. The crowd surged onto the evacuation ship as soldiers shouted at civilians to stay calm. If this were any place but Terran it may have worked, but this planet had seen the invasion of nightmare men nearly destroy their whole world and things falling from the sky had them more panicked than most. 

The ship was full-sized and completely stocked with provisions and escape pods—they had three decks, each capable of seating a hundred people and keeping them alive for up to three months—the longest it would take the nearest inhabited planet to reach Terran’s system. 

Unfortunately catering to such a huge number of people meant they were crowded and chaotic. Jack and Seraphina struggled passed panicking passengers and jammed themselves into a pair of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, obediently pulling the safety harnesses down over their shoulders. A voice overhead announced that their evacuation site was going to be Space Station Delta 2 and that they should notify relatives before the engines turned on.

“So much for our vacation,” Seraphina said with a half-hearted laugh.

Jack didn’t say anything. This situation was reminding him of too many bad things to try laughing. He couldn’t help but notice their evacuation site was a space station and not another place on the planet’s surface. There was a long window beside their seats and he peered outside.

He could see the bunker’s metal roof opening. The sky was too cloudy to see any incoming debris, but he could see huge holes, like wounds, where objects had already fallen and blasted away the clouds. 

The announcer declared that all personal messaging devices had to be shut off and all passengers had to be seated and harnessed. Soldiers walked up and down the deck, checking that all the passengers were ready. Jack had done it himself when he was first starting out, so he knew to be worried when he saw how quickly they were moving.

The engines rumbled beneath their feet and the ship lifted suddenly into the sky. Passengers yelped and gasped in fright at the pressure pushing them back into their seats. Jack was familiar with emergency evacs, the feeling of being hurtled upward into space at unsafe speeds was normal for him, but Sera’s knuckles were nearly white around his fingers.

“It’s going to be all right,” Jack said, half to her and half to himself. “This is just . . . a little hiccup in our vacation plans.”

The ship blasted through the cloud cover and then—

“Oh,” Jack gasped. He could see the debris. There was a lot, and behind it all was something huge—bigger than a meteor, but it was hard to see, since it hadn’t entered the atmosphere just yet.

“Gods!” Someone shrieked behind them. Anyone who knew anything about meteor strikes knew what something like that could do to a planet. Jack thought it a very strange feeling to be among the civilians instead of with the soldiers as a panic set in. There was a scramble to pull out personal messengers, which the watching soldiers could hardly contain as they were still ascending and needed to stay strapped in.

All around the curve of the planet Jack could see tiny smoke trails like little hairs—the capital wasn’t the only city evacuating. But how could something so huge sneak up on them?

One of the soldiers swore as they pulled past the falling behemoth and then Jack had his answer. It was a ship—it must’ve approached at warp and now it wasn’t stopping. Jack swallowed hard. The ship was a massive base rig.

His stomach dropped, and it wasn’t just because they left the atmosphere and the artificial gravity set in. There were only a handful of rigs like that still in use since the war ended and three of them were stationed around Koz.

“Gods,” Seraphina moaned beside him. “That’s a base rig isn’t it?”

Jack nodded dumbly, his whole body cold. He watched as the ship hit the atmosphere, a red halo forming around the bow. Still it didn’t slow down at all, even as flames and smoke began to burst along its side.

The passengers around them screamed and shouted and sobbed as small debris rained down on the planet like sparks, the clouds were blasted out of the falling rigs way, and then it struck the planet. There was a burst of light and Jack watched slack-jawed as the whole planet seemed to ripple—smoke and dust billowing out from the impact sight and spreading, covering the white and blue planet with grey and brown.

The ship suddenly veered and sent the passengers jerking in their seats. Screams echoed above and below as the other decks were sent into panic. Jack heard a dull boom and then a screech so loud and deep it made his teeth hurt. Red lights flared throughout the ship and passengers shouted in alarm as the PA system chanted calmly. “Hull breech. Calmly make your way to the escape pods.”

The soldiers were up first, helping passengers out of their seats. Jack stood, clutching Seraphina’s hand. “We’ve stopped moving,” he rasped. “But the engines are still on.”

Seraphina ignored him, tugging him through the confused crowd, following flashing signs overhead that indicated the escape pod locations.

“If we were hit by debris, we’d still be moving,” Jack said mechanically, trying to get her to understand without saying it: a ship would stop in space if a larger ship shot their towline through its hull and held it back, he wanted to say. Someone is attacking us.

Suddenly the whole temperature of the ship seemed to dip. The fear in Jack’s heart took on a familiar, razor edge. Toward the bow of the ship he heard shouting and screaming. The PA system squealed overhead and a man’s voice rang out. “Fearlings on board, raise arms—” The PA cut off suddenly and there was a moment of horrified silence and then suddenly everyone was moving and screaming.

Except Seraphina. She was stopped dead. She looked at Jack in utter confusion. “The fearlings are all in prison,” she said. “Father wouldn’t let any of them out.”

Jack opened his mouth to speak and heard far behind them, the eerie, awful, horrible shriek of something not human. Then the shadows were on them.

Light burst across the hallway as the soldiers turned against the attacking scourge. Jack’s eyes widened to see one of them fall immediately to a shadow blade. Without thinking, he dropped Seraphina’s hand and ran toward danger, grabbing up the fallen soldier’s sword. It wasn’t as good as his staff, but it would have to do.

Seraphina cried his name as a shadow man leapt at him. He conjured the memory of Seraphina approaching the snow pile and cut it in two with his now glowing blade. He turned and ran back to where Seraphina stood, taking her hand and running.

“Gods,” Sera gasped. “Oh gods, Father—“

“We can’t think about it now!” Jack shouted, the glow of his blade flickering. 

The shadows were gibbering and squealing in that strange, voiceless way of theirs and he could feel the hair raise on the back of his neck—his only alarm that the fearlings were right on their heels. He heard a scream and the sound of a body hitting the ground, then another.

They rounded a corner; still following the flashing lights to the escape pods, and screeched to a halt.

The hallway was full of panicked passengers, all of them scrambling to get into pods. In the chaos, hardly anyone had managed to eject to safety.

Jack let go of Seraphina’s hand once more. “Try and get them organized,” he said. “I’ll hold off the fearlings.”

Seraphina snatched at his sleeve. “By yourself?!”

Jack offered her the barest smile. “I wasn’t a sergeant for nothing!” He pulled away and cut down the first fearling to round the corner. The sight of the creature had caused a ruckus among the crowd, but still he could hear Seraphina bellowing at the frightened passengers to get organized or they’d all die. She could be very persuasive when she was angry.

Jack rounded the corner, hoping to keep panic to a minimum by bottlenecking the corridor.

Four soldiers were still standing, swarmed with fearlings. Behind them Jack could see shadow men. Kneeling. He cocked his head to the side. It was like they were waiting for their turns after the fearlings were killed. But that was . . . smart. Shadow men weren’t smart. They were mindlessly aggressive; they didn’t do plans or strategy.

Then Jack saw a figure standing among them. It was dark like the shadow men, but different, solid, with distinct features: tall, broad shoulders, stiff posture—and the eyes! Their eyes met and Jack’s body went cold. He recognized that face.

The figure stalked toward him and the shadow men on either side rose up and easily steered the struggling soldiers out of their leader’s way. Which didn’t make sense because the shadows didn’t have leaders. Sometimes they’d form groups and make abyssals, but then they just had a joined consciousness—nothing like this.

Jack took a step back, the glow of his weapon completely gone. He shook his head as if that could change what his eyes saw. The figure was wearing a torn soldier’s uniform, the white fabric stained grey with shadow, as was the blade it held loosely in one hand, its once brown skin was drained of color, nearly black now, but it was still his uniform, his sword, his skin. It was Koz.

“Jack, we’ve got a pod—don’t be dead!”

Jack started at the voice and turned his face away from danger as Seraphina rounded the corner and stopped. Her eyes widened at the sight of the creature approaching them. “Father?” She gasped.

Jack’s senses returned all at once. He held out a hand toward her, as he tightened his grip on his sword. “It’s shadow sickness,” he said. “It’s turning him into a shadow man but it’s not too late yet.”

He turned his head toward Koz and edged toward him. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure if Koz had shadow sickness. He definitely wasn’t turning into a shadow man—shadow sickness made your eyes turn black and shadow men had no visible eyes. Koz’s eyes were yellow and they glowed like a fearling’s. Jack didn’t know what had happened to Koz. It was something new.

“Koz,” he said, taking a hesitant step toward him. “I know how you must be feeling right now—remember how you pulled me out when I had shadow sickness? Don’t listen to those voices in your head. Listen to me. You don’t want to hurt anyone here, least of all us.” 

He tried for a smile but it was hard. This wasn’t like facing a shadow man. It was Koz and he was smiling at Jack like—like he was a misguided child. 

Jack’s voice cracked as he spoke. “This is the first time we’ve seen each other in so long, aren’t you happy to see us? Use that. Fight them off and we can go home together.”

“Gods,” Seraphina moaned softly.

Koz cocked his head toward her and then suddenly he lurched forward, sword drawn. Jack reacted without thinking, jumping forward to deflect the blade. Thank the gods the sword wasn’t fully a shadow blade or his dull weapon would’ve been no good. There was a clang of metal and then Koz slashed at him. Jack barely managed to dodge, but Koz followed after him, still light on his feet after all these years. 

Jack grit his teeth as tears pricked at his eyes. Koz had tried to hurt Seraphina—he might still be in there, but he was in deep.

You’ll never save him, a voice whispered at the back of his mind, you may as well give up.

Jack’s eyes widened and he barely avoided a swing of Koz’s sword. Shadow sickness was tugging at the corners of his psyche. He needed to get Seraphina away from here before she got it too!

Leave her, the shadows whispered, stay here with Koz. You love him don’t you?

Behind them came a flash of light and Jack was nearly blinded. As he blinked spots from his eyes he saw the shadow men had vanished, but Koz remained. He turned his head and scowled as four soldiers came tearing down the hall, their weapons glowing brilliantly.

Jack turned and ran, grabbing Sera around the middle and hauling her back to the escape pods. She struggled in his arms. “They’re going to kill him!” She screamed. “We have you help him! You said—“

Kill her, the shadows urged, and Jack actually snorted at that. It would take a lot more than a few little voices for him to turn on Sera.

He forced her down into one of the escape pods seats. “I’m going to help him,” Jack said as he pulled the harness over her shoulders. “We’ve got to show him snow, don’t we?”

Sera shook her head, tears in her eyes, immune to his placations. Her eyes were clear though, that was the most important thing—that the shadows didn’t get a hold of her. “I’m not leaving without you,” she said.

“I know.” Jack pressed a kiss to her forehead and leapt back. “That’s why I’m making you go.”

He pressed the eject button just as Seraphina reached to undo her harness. “Jack—“ The pod closed and cut off whatever she was about to say. There was a low thump and a hiss and then the pod blasted backwards and disappeared from sight. 

You’ll never see her again.

Jack turned in time to see one of the soldiers from before get thrown against a wall, blood spattering across the ground. Koz stormed out past him, face drawn in a grimace. He cast about the hall and saw Jack standing there, and, horrifically, his features twisted into a smile.

Jack raised his sword. “I’m happy to see you too,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “I missed you so much.”

You can’t save him.

“Please snap out of this,” Jack said, “you said if I waited you’d come back to me.”

Koz lunged at him. Jack blocked and deflected the darkened blade. He couldn’t get his own to conjure any light.

Because you’re a failure.

Koz’s sword flashed again and again, and it was all Jack could do to defend himself. Even with his staff he wasn’t good enough to beat Koz. “Koz!” He twisted to narrowly avoid a slash to his side and his scar ached. “Koz, please, you—you never gave me that second dance.”

Koz paused, and the strange smile on his face faltered.

The light in Jack’s blade flickered to life, and then Koz was in his space, faster than he could dodge. Jack stumbled back, all the breath leaving him as hot, agonizing pain ripped up through his rib cage and burst across his back. He lost his grip and the dull sword fell from his hand.

Koz’s face was so close to his, he might have kissed him. Koz chuckled like Jack’s expression were just too priceless, and then he pulled back. Jack felt every agonizing inch of the sword leaving his chest and then he was on his back on the ground at Koz’s feet.

Koz stared down at him a moment, face impassive, then he turned his head. The wall opposite the pods had windows. He seemed to be watching the planet fall to pieces, a quietly pleased smile on his face. He turned on his heel and strode over Jack’s still body. He didn’t look back.

You’re dying. You’re dying, and he left you.

He could’ve laughed if he weren’t having trouble breathing. Of course, he was dying. Of course, Koz left him—it wasn’t even Koz! His cheeks felt wet and a creeping exhaustion stole over him. Darkness blurred the edge of his vision as his eyes drooped closed. 

Don’t you feel bitter? The shadows crooned, trying one last time to gain a foothold in his mind. If only things had been different!

If Jack had had the strength to shrug he would have. ‘Maybe they will be’, he thought. ‘Next time around.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then Jack gets reborn as Jackson Overland, becomes Jack Frost, meets Koz again as Pitch Black and Pitch FucKIGN ThROWS HIM DOWN A CLIFF
> 
> But yeah, that's all she wrote! I hope you guys liked being emotionally damaged. I'll be posting a (slightly violent) piece of artwork to my blog (guardian-of-da-gay.tumblr.com) that accompanies this piece if you feel like hurting your heart more.

**Author's Note:**

> To see upcoming artwork for this fic, check out my rotg blog and my nsfw blog: guardian-of-da-gay.tumblr.com aggressive-cuddling.tumblr.com


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